Spring came so early this year and after such a mild winter that I almost feel cheated out of the longing that makes Spring glorious. Still, as Lent is passing and nearing its end, the Lord is guiding me in a different sort of longing. 
I’ve been seeing with new eyes the way my sin affects Charlie. And even if I could love him perfectly, I cannot protect him from the world, or his own broken heart. He is marred. I am marred. And in my sin, I mar him, as much as I hate it. So, I’ve been mourning the fall. No, I’ve been raging against the fall and longing for heaven, with a new intensity. 
As I meditate on Easter and God’s promise to make a new heaven and earth, I’m amazed at what He has promised. He promises to redeem it all. Somehow, he will weave the stories of broken, vile and rancid sin into songs that glorify and praise his name. I don’t know how he can do it. The intricacies of working this out in the lives of those I know, let alone the billions of souls on the earth staggers my comprehension.
But Christ’s work on the cross is restoration: restoring us who are broken and wounded and unable to fix ourselves, restoring this world to be again a place that reflects it’s Creator’s beauty perfectly. So as I grieve in this new way, I’m also praising God with new awe at his glorious promise to wipe away all tears and redeem it all. 
A Child’s Heart
The spring leaves are so delicate
A new lace, green, fragile and frail
Spread over the black branches of winter
Precarious
In time they will harden and grow opaque
They roughen, coarsen and obscure the sky
Time does not mend this.
Oh, Broken world! Where growth and scars go hand in hand.
Seasons cycle, spring returns, but innocence is not reclaimed.
Oh Son, rise again! Warm the earth, our hearts.
Make all new! Bring a Spring that is untarnished!
4 comments:
Beautiful, love. Just beautiful.
Hi Keren!
Thank you so much for this wonderful meditation! I have been feeling what you are feeling myself this lent and you have put my feelings into words in a way that thrills my soul and renews my longing for Christ. I want to share this will all my friends! Thanks again, and God bless you and your family - your college friend, Mikki (Anderson) Altenhofen. (3rd Moyer)
Mikki!!! It's so great to hear from you, I knew right away who you were even before you said you were from 3rd Moyer! It is difficult to think deeply about raising our children in a sinful world and to realize how our scars/sin shape them. Keeping our eyes on Christ in the midst of that is even harder when the ugliness fills the forefront of our vision, isn't it? I think this is something we moms can encourage each other in, even by just acknowledging the struggle. So, thank you for your comment! And here's to looking forward to when He comes again! Have a blessed Easter!
Keren, are you familiar with the band Gungor? As I read your post I kept thinking about their song "Beautiful Things," and their entire new album "Ghosts Upon the Earth." Beautiful thoughts, friend (:
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