reflux revisited--sanctification in progress?

Every once in a while I see myself grow up.  It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it is so very encouraging. 

So Wendy has reflux just like Charlie did.  And her case is worse than Charlie’s.  For her this means endless grunting and writhing at night, combined with regurgitation that sometimes comes out her nose, a constant whistling wheeze when sleeping and episodes of apnea. She is uncomfortable, doesn’t like nursing and fusses (there is a reason reflux is often confused with colic) during the day.

Enter the things that effect our life:  less sleep and a grumpy baby.  Jonathan and I spend at least a portion of every night ‘sleeping’ in our rocking chair holding her upright against our chests, listening to her breath wheeze, laboring in and out, then stop altogether and after a long hanging moment (where I have to remind myself  not to hold my breath too) start up again with a long nerve-wracking squeak.  With Charlie the diagnosis just gave me a word to define my misery to other people. I hated the intrusion on my sleep, and I resented him for being inconsolable.  With Wendy, I have been surprised to feel my self swamped with compassion for her discomfort.

As she has writhed and grunted her way through her heartburn at night, I’ve seen that she is trying SO hard to stay asleep. It is what she really wants, but just can’t achieve. That understanding has made it easier to sit up, holding her on my chest for the long hours of the night, rocking and patting when something from the last feeding comes up her throat. As the night glides by, it shocks me that I don’t resent her intrusion on my sleep. Don’t get me wrong, I do fantasize about lying down with a baby born with a coordinated gastrointestinal tract and dozing off while she sleep/nurses—my tired, tired body aches for it. But if Wendy is sleepy, vertical is the place where she is the most comfortable and this time around, I just want to be there for her.

Delightfully, as this very difficult newborn phase has turned our lives upside down, I have found myself being thankful for the whole meals I get to eat with my family or for having my hands free for 10 minutes to blow bubbles with Charlie.  Thankful rather than resentful.  Surrendered even?   And that, my dear friends, is pretty much a miracle given the reality of our lives and my inability to stay emotionally stable without at least six hours of sleep at night!

So, I’m calling it evidence of “God-here-with-us”—his gentle gift of encouragement—a blessing over Wendy’s addition to our family—grace.  And I am so thankful !

animal baths

I am loving the imagination that Charlie is developing these days.   His imaginative play developed just in time for him to amuse himself while I’m busy with baby sister. 

(This morning he ‘brought’ me my coffee (Jonathan helped him carry the mug very slowly to my semi-comatose carcass on the couch) and told me it had spider juice and bug crumbs in it.  Just the pick-me-up I needed!)

A couple days ago I came in on this scene:Each animal had its own proper sized ‘tub’ and I was informed they are all getting baths. He even had a ‘shower head’ he was spraying them down with. And I’m sure his upside-down vet glasses were all the credentials he needed to prove he had the right to bathe said animals!

baby at the baby shower

This week has been full. It really picked up pace when I broke my pinkie toe and couldn’t walk for a couple days. I’m hobbling now and its making me think that taking care of two kids is easy…when your foot isn’t broken. As it is, Jonathan has been doing most of the caring and I’ve been doing a lot more sitting and icing.

Wendy and I still managed to go to our friend Emily’s baby shower. There were lots of pregnant women there and we got a fun picture of us all lined up in order of gestation.

6wk baby, 41wks, 32wks, 30wks, 26 wks

Wendy enjoyed herself immensely, as did her Mama!

balloon ball and smiles

Alternative tittle #1:  how to entertain your toddler AND your baby for the price of one balloon, some duct tape and an embroidery hoop. 

Alternative tittle #2:  The desperate creativity inspired by needing to nurse an infant every two hours while keeping a toddler out of trouble.  (look for more on this theme coming soon)

photo shoot blooper

We had our friend photographer Courtney come over and take some pictures of Wendy’s babyness.  I love the look on her face in this one—its like she’s not sure if Charlie is going to drop her or not.  And yes, that contortion is the face Charlie makes when you ask him to smile!

Saturdays: Museum of Transportation

While I’m on maternity leave, we have our Saturdays back! It is so fun to wake up and know that we are going to be together as a family instead of splitting up to work and be babysat.

This morning, Jonathan made pancakes and then tried to teach Charlie how to play Connect 4. Charlie played it two-year-old style. Meaning it rapidly turned into a game of who could put the pieces in the fastest. After Wendy had her third breakfast of the day, we headed off to the St. Louis Museum of Transportation. There were lots of HUGE trains and boats and an airplane too. As we drove into the parking lot, Charlie kept saying, "Look at dat, Look at dat!”The boys scouted out all the trains by themselves for a couple reasons. First, Wendy wanted her fourth breakfast, or maybe her first lunch? Then, every time I tried taking her out into the 90+, humid morning, she started crying. It was like a lightswitch: out side= screaming, inside = smiling. So I hung out in the gift shop with her until the boys were ready to tour the indoor car exhibits.

“Um, yeah, I’m a girl and those trains just don’t interest me!”

“And the heat! It just makes me cross-eyed!”

“Thank you, I will just sit here and look pretty in the air conditioning!”

On the way home, much past nap time, Charlie quietly stole Wendy’s blanket off the top of her car seat and fell asleep in the car. I have a feeling she is going to be envying those lashes someday!

Yeay for Saturdays!

she has my nose and my toes!

I don’t know why exactly this makes me so happy, but I’m finding there is something really awesome about handing down distinctly recognizable body parts to my girl child.  All the personality and rearing that I pass on will be hers and and a labor of my love, but somehow less obvious.  But this nose, those toes are clearly mine, given in gift.   And one day I’m going to be able to say,“Your nose, honey (for better or for worse) is a gift straight from your Mama, and it came from her Mama!”

Wendy goes to a Wedding

When Wendy was two weeks old, she got bundled into her car seat, and then the moby wrap, and then unbundled for security and re-bundled, tucked under the nursing cover more times than I can count, and then bundled back into her car seat.  When it was all over, she was in Ayer MA, ready to attend her uncle Erik’s wedding and meet her great grandparents and all sorts of uncles and aunts and even her cousin Ziva! 

Charlie was a superb traveler and made it through 10+ hours of traveling--including the longest line for security I have ever seen, one cancelled, two delayed flights, a confused car rental clerk, and an hour plus drive without his blankie, which had suffered an unfortunate accident with his milk early on in the trip—all without a nap and never had a meltdown.  That’s one helpful two year old, I say!  And we praised him with many praises! (His Mama and Dada also made it through without any meltdowns.  Thank you to everyone who was praying!)

Thursday morning we recuperated.  Grandma rested in bed and held Wendy while she slept.  I worked on getting dinner ready for the family get-together that evening.  It was really great.  Grandma got her baby holding fix, Wendy stayed asleep as she only does when someone is holding her and I enjoyed having my arms free for a little bit.   ( This picture is obviously not from the sweet hours they spent curled up on Mom’s bed together! )

It was great to see Jon and Zanna and their 4-day old baby girl!   I thought I was being all ‘my-child-was-born-on-a-leaf-and-now-I’m-going-to-keep-ploughing-the-field’ and all by traveling two weeks after having a new baby.  ( Ziva and Wendy are 11 days apart!)  But if I was being brave, I don’t even know what category Zanna falls into!  I’m so glad they came!

Proud Papa!  ( I know Jon is going to hate me for writing this, but I still cannot believe my baby brother had a baby and is a father!!!!  It blows my mind!  But it was so cool to trade babies with him and talk about soothing techniques and eating schedules.)   He’s an awesome Dad and I’m looking forward to raising our baby girls at the same time!…and introducing…the Jacobson/Marzinke niblings:   Ziva, Charlie and Wendy!!!

On Friday morning, we went to Catherine’s bridal shower.  It was lovely!  Why yes, those are ginger infused carrot cake cupcakes and Prince William’s Chocolate Biscuit Cake  along with all sorts of other melt-in-your mouth goodness behind the bride!  There were so many babies there, that it looked like a baby parking lot in the back room for a while.  Meeting up with my grandma and Aunt Leila and Aunt Alice there just added to the fun.  I was so glad to be able to celebrate Catherine and meet her family!  

Friday night was the Rehearsal Dinner.  We met at a park and had a Philippine style picnic.  Since we ran out of utensils and ate with our fingers and there were mosquitoes the size of butterflies—I’d say it turned out pretty authentic!  Catherine’s sisters both have boys around the same age and older than Charlie.  They brought balls and bats and frisbees to the picnic.  This picture kills me.  It captures the hope and longing in a shy little boy’s heart while he watches those big boys play.    He did eventually join in the fun! 

Saturday came and there was sunshine!   And the two were made one!   And there were sparkles in their eyes, and handmade pottery cups and father-grown flowers in their hands and joy in their hearts!

And there were approving matriarchs and patriarchs….and much stomping of the feet and sashaying of the hips!My incredibly handsome men dressed up for the wedding with matching Windsor knotted ties.  (Wendy did wear her green knitted dress as planned, but the afternoon was so warm that I had to strip her down to her onsie before I got any pictures!)

Sunday was a recover from the wedding day.   Charlie and Jonathan drove great grandma and great grandpa into the airport.  Apparently they reported to my mom that Charlie didn’t stop talking the whole way there! 

We also had the special treat of having lunch with my 2nd grade teacher, ‘Aunt’ Ginny! She came to the Philippines to teach in our elementary school two separate times, and became a close family friend. I was so glad she could drive down from Connecticut to see us. It was special seeing her and catching up a little!

Monday we flew home.  These pompoms are in Charlie’s bag of airplane toys.  As you can see they are a versatile toy. He became attached to a red one and made a sort of pet out of it while we were gone.  He called it his “fuzzy ball” and insisted on sleeping with it. 

 

ps  This is what happens when you combine a glass of milk with the discovery, as you try to check in online at 7 for a 11am flight, that your flight has been cancelled and they booked you on another flight leaving two hours earlier without telling you:  yummy cheese!!