shooting the breeze

Wendy has started jumping in on the conversations belonging to the fully verbal members of the family.    Of course, not being able to talk has limited her ability to participate, but it has not dampened her enthusiasm for trying.   She patiently waits until she hears a word she recognizes and then loudly belts out her version of it.  It often has nothing whatsoever to do with the conversation.  Here are two examples:  (Charlie and Mama are reading a rather factual book about bats.  The discussion is about how they can fly without seeing. On the floor, Wendy is chewing on a Woody pez dispenser and determinedly trying to stuff a kid’s cymbal into her shoe.)

Charlie:  Dey can see in the dawk?  Like me, cuz I eat cawots?
Mama:  No, they can’t see in the dark, but they can hear so well with their ears that they they don’t bump into things.
Charlie:  But how do du bats heaw so good?
Wendy:  (ripping Woody out of her salivating mouth and getting up to come at us with an intense look on her face, all the while repeating in a hoarse, growling voice)  Ba-BA(Batman)!  BA-BA, BA-BAH(BATMAN)!!!!

(In the car on the way to prayer group at a house where Charlie recently enjoyed playing in the back yard during a graduation party for their daughter. )

Charlie: Are we goin der to go outside and eat those yummy muwbewies(mulberries) again?
Mama: No, we are going to prayer group. We will stay inside this time.
Charlie: Why did we go outside dah last time we was dere?
Mama: That was a party with lots of people. This is just prayer group and we will all fit inside.
Charlie: It was Miss Mwee’s biwfday?
Wendy: (suddenly erupting from her car seat, in a loud, droning and very off-key tone) Ha Boo-yay! HA BOO-YAY! HAP BUTAY NEh yuh….hu…..nu… HAPT BOO-YAY!!!!

Wendy’s growing conversation “skills” have been all but ignored until I noticed her doing this yesterday. Since then, I have not been able to stop laughing at her.  Even though she seriously sounds like she has dementia and hearing problems, I love how intensely this sweet ‘goyul’ wants to keep up and be part of her family!

the widdle, weeny whiney voice

Charlie:  "Ders a voice in my bones, Mama, a widdle tiny weeny whiney voice that says, [in a high squeaky voice] “I need juice!"”

Mama:  "Is there?”

Charlie:  "Ders a map on my shirt dat tells me da way to treasure. It goes into my tummy.  You open your mouth and ders a way to my stomach from my mouth and my bones needs  some juice.  So dey are saying,  (in a high squeaky voice) “Follow duh map!””

Mama:  "That’s what the map says?”

Charlie:  "Yes!  It says you go dis way and den dat way(pointing with his finger).  You put the juice in yow mouth and swallow it down your foat (throat).  Yow fowt is long and it goes stwaight to yow tummy.  You dwink it down and den it’s stwaight in your tummy and it goes along yow skin and right to your bones!! An the bones are so ‘cited ‘bout getting some juice!  Dey just gobble it up!” (putting both hands out to the side and bouncing them up and down to emphasize each word)  “Isn’t dat GWEAT?!”

Mama:  “Uh…”

Charlie: “So, mama, can I have some juice?” (sensing my dumfounded silence to be some form of hesitance, and trying to cement the deal) “Fow to make my bones be happy?”

She Argues!

I had my first conversation, I mean, argument, with Wendy tonight as she was finishing up dinner .  

Wendy:  rubbing her fists up and down in opposite directions on on her chest, “Baaah”

Mama: “You want a bath?”

Wendy: more fist rubbing with an excited expression, “Baaah!  Bee-Bee, baaah!”

Mama: “Wendy wants a bath?    No, we are not going to have a bath tonight.  We can wash your hands?”

Wendy: crying, Baaah!!  Baaah, Bee-bee baaah!!!!! 

Mamma:  “No, Wendy, you already had a bath today.  But we can wash your hands!”

Wendy:  more fussing, throwing back head against chair, “Baaah, baaah!    Baaah!!!”  (pause)   Looking up at me, measuring my face, now in a high pitched voice, hitting palms against her chest, “Pee?”

Mama:  “Please?  Bath, please?   Sorry honey, no bath tonight.”   trying to change the subject “Are you all done?  Do you want to get down?”

Wendy:  cheerfully flapping hands, then pointing down,  “Ahh-daa, ahh-daa!”

Mama:  pretending to be enthusiastic, hoping she is distracted,  “Ok then, let’s get you down and go wash your hands!”

Wendy: rubbing her fists up and down in opposite directions on on her chest, “Baaah!”

Mama: […]

I am more stubborn than you, that’s what I am!

Conversations with Charlie: Expletives in three-year-old style!

Charlie has a huge vocabulary and uses these words liberally.   I think he inherited my need to process out loud AND Jonathan’s need to carefully craft each utterance to be as accurate as it can be.   This particular combination in Charlie is one of the most frustrating and most charming things in my life.
                                
Charlie often phrases and re-phrases the beginning of a sentence or paragraph until I am almost ready to shake the rest of it out of him.  He will not move on, or do any other task, until it satisfies him and he can finish his idea entirely.  If you try to hurry him by finishing his sentence or jumping in to help, he will inform you that you just “ ‘toowupted” (interrupted) him.  THEN he will start over from the very beginning.    Only very patient souls persevere to the end of one of Charlie’s thorough explanations, but by then they have fallen in love with him and his creative tongue.
Exclamations, on the other hand, have started flying out of Charlie’s mouth without deliberation.  We feel no need to correct his errors since they bring us such amusement.  And, his mistakes make his utterances age-appropriate, right? (Please tell me I’m right on this one! ) Here are a few goodies:  

• The tip-off to this new phase of language and his first  imitated ‘adult’ exclamation, was a high-pitched “WHAaaaaT?!!!?” as he threw out his hands in surprise when I told him that Batman cannot fly.
• Then, he dropped his basket of cars and they spilled all over the floor: “Tao-nay-shun!” (Tarnation!) Too much Looney Toons, perhaps?
• After spending three minutes trying to pick-up a soccer ball, three tennis balls, a golf ball and a football all at once: “Goodness gwasus my oh me! Dis is twiky!”

{Apparently, after some experimentation, he decided his preferred genre of expletives are statements which begin with “what the…”  He got quite creative.  There is a whole family of them} 

• When Wendy knocks the jar of markers off the art table:  “What duh oawth(earth) did you do?”
• As we merge onto the freeway, and he looks out his window on the left side:  “What duh hoe-wee (holy) cow!  Doze caws ow suwr fwyin past us! Day aw dwivin’ cwazy!”
• This one is for the little things like missing a ball when hitting it with a paper tube:  "What the whack?"
• This one is powerfully, doubly and expletively effective: “What duh WHhaaaat !?!”
• And our personal favorite:   “What duh hick !?!!”

{bonus quote}
Last week Charlie explained to Jonathan and I, in a serious tone (about the two very dead dandelions languishing in a little tea cup on the dinner table):  “Doze fwowers are a ‘pecial tweat for you guys.  But I don’t give dem to you evwee day, (sagely nodding his head) yeah, cuz dey are a ‘pecial tweat. . .”

Hope this was a treat too!   Thanks for stopping by!

Wendy Week: Guide to Communication

Wendy, thought she’d write this post, since she is becoming an expert! 

“Words?  Well, if you are going to get anything around this house, you have to make your requests known.   Apparently when I got here there was already another child (I haven’t quite figured out what to call him yet) taking all of Mama’s time and energy.  I’ve done my best to commandeer her for myself, but he is pretty tough competition.  She seems to think he is cute and is very committed to keeping him around, so I try to work with it the best I can.  Of course, he is fascinating and really, if I’m honest,  very handy in some situations.” 

“The big people seem to have  this weird complicated system to communicate.  It involves an endless variety of sounds, which are fun to imitate and all, but let’s just be honest here.  If you really want to get some action, just scream.  It works every time.” 

“Of course, Mama will tell you that she has taught me signs for lots of words.  She has this theory that giving babies signs to communicate is like giving them tools.  She thinks that if I have signs, I won’t want to scream.   What she doesn’t realize is how much faster she turns around when I yell at her, than when I sit there quietly moving my hands in some asinine repetitive motion.   But I’ll give her props for being almost as stubborn as I am.  Even after I scream and she knows exactly what I want, I still have to make the stupid sign to get it!”

“All that to say, signing is not so much a tool for me, more a frustrating  incentive to get on with talking.   I’ve discovered if I make a noise even remotely like the word that belongs with the sign, she stops making me move my hands to get what I want.  So recently, I’ve been dropping signs left and right and super motivated to get on with the talking.” 

“Here’s what I’ve figured out so far:  You can get a lot of mileage out of three or four simple sounds.  Try changing the inflection and, viola, it’s a whole new word!    For example, I get a lot of attention for saying Batman.  It gets me kisses!  I’m so good at  saying Batman, now that I can picking it out of a conversation in the next room and repeat it back.   They think I’m so smart, but really all I did was put a growly voice on my sound for bye-bye.   Seriously, Batman = ‘ba-ba” with a growl; Bye-bye = “ba-ba” in a sing-song tone!  And they think I’m fantastic for it!   That, my friends is how you get the cover-your-whole-body-in-goose-bump kisses!  You really have to make sure they don’t make you work to hard, how do you think I’ve managed to maintain my chub this long?  Shortcuts!  It’s all in the shortcuts—well, and food.  (But that is a subject for another day!)”

“Anyways, I was about to show-off to you how much mileage I’ve gotten out a few simple sounds:”

• “Bwa-bwa”  = bottle, or to nurse
  
   
• “Wa-bwa” = water cup (certainly not to be confused with ‘bottle’)
• ”Aba” = Amen
• ”Bee-bee” = Wendy, baby, please-please (I use this to get something that I want, but it certainly took Mama a loooooong time to figure out what this one meant)
• "Ba-ba” (with growly voice) = Batman
• "Ba-ba” (with sing song voice and wave) = bye bye
• “Na-na” = night night (said over and over after I leave the room and she is falling asleep)
• “Chssss” = cheese (first word)
• “Aaaaaaa” = ‘I’m hungry’ or ‘I’m ready for the next bite’
• “Da-da” or “Da” = Dada
• “Ma-ma-ma” = Mama
• “Apee” = ‘up please’
• “Ah dya” = ‘all done’ or ‘all gone’
  

  …from February
  

  …from May

• “Tzzss” = ‘brush teeth’
• “Eye” = hi
• “Ma” = more
• “Mwaah” = kiss

“Impressive, right?  Also, it is only fair to admit, that I do keep a few signs around for their cute = cuddle properties.   I do love a good hug and cuddle!  Here’s my most effective one: the sign for sleep.”

“Na na!”

Twaks

Me, pointing to the batman sweatshirt on the floor, where Charlie dropped it after coming in the door and taking it off: "Charlie, what is this?"
Charlie, in a cheerful, instructional voice: "Oh! That is the twak(track) of me takin off my fweat showt. Dat's how you can twak wew I was. I was heew, Mama, whened I taked it off."