DINANDA: superhero

Dear Charlie,

You turned four this week. You were old enough this year to want to count down the days until your birthday, but you still get naps and night-sleep mixed up. Often you are ready to call it a new day at 4pm after your nap, so that made it confusing. You kept asking when you went to sleep if it would be your birthday when you woke up, and on the day before your birthday you woke up from your nap and thought it was already your birthday. So when it did finally get here and we went into your room early to sing Happy Birthday, you were surprised!

Wendy was almost as excited as you. She loves singing Happy Birthday, and had a lot of practice with Mommy and Daddy’s birthdays right before yours. I know sometimes she comes on a little too strong for you. She comes on too strong for me, sometimes, too! But she really does know to put all of herself into being excited for you! This has been a big year for you, Bud! We moved to a new house, you learned to rid a balance bike and now a real pedal bike! You have made new friends and learned how to button your coat and put your socks and shoes on. You can set the table and be trusted to obey instructions. You are such an amazing help to your Mama. And you are telling imaginative stories now that are so fun to play with! This birthday, Dadda set up his childhood Darda set in the living room for you to find and play with first thing in the morning. You kept saying, “Holy cow, is this weally fow me?” (You still don’t say your ‘r's very well. But you know you need to work on them now. You asked me the other day if you were saying “roar” the way I say it or not. And I figured out you were wondering about the ‘r’ sound. I’m in no hurry for it to go, I still miss you saying “ploon” for “spoon”, but I guess you do have to grow up sometime!)You chose pancakes for breakfast, and Daddy made you a chocolate chip Optimus Prime pancake. Pretty neat!

Wendy got a heart.

We spent the morning playing with Alaythia, Grace and Owen. Everyone dressed up. You cried and cried when you saw the Batgirl costume that Alaythia was wearing. You wanted to wear it and when you couldn’t it made you so sad. You wanted to have a Batman costume and an Optimus Prime costume to put “all over your body” and not just a cape. I talked with you about it for a little bit and you told me through your sobs, “Mamma I need some comfort.” So we sat together and held your blanket. Then you needed a little time by yourself in your room before you were ready to come out and play with everyone. Charlie, I love how smart you are about your emotions. I am so proud of you for being brave enough to tell me when you need comfort and for knowing when you need a little space by yourself to process though something. I love your willingness to say, “This is twicky for me.” I hope you never loose the confidence to be transparent in who you are. I also pray that God helps your Dada and I keep on having the discernment to respond to you well. So that we keep on being a safe place for you to admit when you need help, comfort and support. We do love you so!

After you were ready to join us again, we all went outside. What a beautiful day God gave you! We didn’t even need coats. You all worked together to build a nest for a “fairy bird” in our hollow log. You dug in the dirt, got covered in chalk, and you and Alaythia had so much fun pretending to be superheroes together!
”Want to save the world with me ‘laythia?”

”Oh, I thought you’d never ask, Charlie!”

Posing like Super Heroes!

In the morning Grandma and Great Grandma called to sing you “Happy Birthday” you didn’t say anything but you got a great big grin on your face when you heard them singing to you. After lunch we opened the presents Nana and Papa sent you while they watched on Skype. You and Daddy got a pair of remote control transformers that can do battle with each other. It was really fun!

Then you and Wendy took a nap, and Mama worked on your cake.

We had been talking for a while about what kind of cake you wanted and during one conversation, you told me that you wanted an Optimus Prime cake. When I wasn’t sure what that meant, you explained it would have the Autobot symbol and a flag of Optimus Prime on the top of the cake. I suggested several other (simpler) options, but you cut me off and said firmly, “We should just do my ‘gestion (suggestion), Mamma.” I clamped up my mouth at that.
…And racked my brain about how exactly one makes an Optimus Prime flag to fly over a cake. Thankfully my friend saved the day by offering her printable fabric to me—who knew such things existed!? A little Google image search, iron-on fusing and bamboo skewer later, and voila!: an Optimus Prime Flag! The Autobot symbol was made with milk and white chocolate. I melted it and then piped it out on parchment paper over an Autobot symbol I printed out. After it hardened in the fridge, I just peeled it off and put it on top of the icing. Thankfully, you liked it when you saw it. You even said, “This flag is just how I wanted it!” (whew!)We spent the afternoon reading superhero books and playing with the Darda set. After supper we invited Daniel, Grace, Owen and their parents along with Alaythia, her parents and her baby sister Cossette to our house to have cake with you. It was just the right number of people to sing Happy Birthday to you and watch you blow out the candles. You ate the whole Optimus Prime symbol with your portion! Right before bed, Uncle Erik and Aunt Catherine called to sing Happy Birthday. You got that big grin on your face again, hearing them sing. They called to make sure you knew that they were thinking about you and that they love you. You are so loved, Charlie!

We went to be the usual way, with pajamas and vitamins and teeth brushing. Wendy had her milk while we all sang songs in the dark. You sang a made-up “God song” for all of us. It was about God rising from the dead, and saving all the people, there was something in there about thanking him for giving you toys for your birthday and keeping your cake safe until the next morning too. I love your good-night “God songs”!

Sometimes at night after you are asleep, I slip back inside the room and lie down next to you Charlie, and just hug you for a little bit. I like to put my arm around you and pray for you and for me. You are 4 now and 4 year-old boys are not very interested in snuggling with their Mamas. (though this Mama still is) No, 4 year-old boys are more interested in making “the biggest” loud, house-shaking jumps, and talking at the top of their lungs right next to your ear, and building elaborate pretend stories using block, cars, pillows and superheroes all over the floor of the kitchen. 4 year old boys are not very convenient at all. I have to confess, Charlie that sometimes I get very frustrated at you for being loud, messy, or for being so lost in the story you are pretending that you don’t hear me ask you to put your sock and shoes on. Usually I figure it out, catch myself and tell you I’m sorry for yelling at you. But sometimes I don’t, and it makes me sad. Sometimes, I need comfort just like you. And then I lie down next to you and tell God I’m sorry for not caring for you the way He wants me to. It helps me to put my arm around you and remember how thankful I am for you, because I am. I love you so fiercely, my little bird! And I am so, SO very glad God that gave you to us!

Happy Birthday, Charlie! Love, Mama

Wendy has started jumping in on the conversations belonging to the fully verbal members of the family. Of course, not being able to talk has limited her ability to participate, but it has not dampened her enthusiasm for trying. She patiently waits until she hears a word she recognizes and then loudly belts out her version of it. It often has nothing whatsoever to do with the conversation. Here are two examples: (Charlie and Mama are reading a rather factual book about bats. The discussion is about how they can fly without seeing. On the floor, Wendy is chewing on a Woody pez dispenser and determinedly trying to stuff a kid’s cymbal into her shoe.)

Charlie: Dey can see in the dawk? Like me, cuz I eat cawots?
Mama: No, they can’t see in the dark, but they can hear so well with their ears that they they don’t bump into things.
Charlie: But how do du bats heaw so good?
Wendy: (ripping Woody out of her salivating mouth and getting up to come at us with an intense look on her face, all the while repeating in a hoarse, growling voice) Ba-BA(Batman)! BA-BA, BA-BAH(BATMAN)!!!!

(In the car on the way to prayer group at a house where Charlie recently enjoyed playing in the back yard during a graduation party for their daughter. )

Charlie: Are we goin der to go outside and eat those yummy muwbewies(mulberries) again?
Mama: No, we are going to prayer group. We will stay inside this time.
Charlie: Why did we go outside dah last time we was dere?
Mama: That was a party with lots of people. This is just prayer group and we will all fit inside.
Charlie: It was Miss Mwee’s biwfday?
Wendy: (suddenly erupting from her car seat, in a loud, droning and very off-key tone) Ha Boo-yay! HA BOO-YAY! HAP BUTAY NEh yuh….hu…..nu… HAPT BOO-YAY!!!!

Wendy’s growing conversation “skills” have been all but ignored until I noticed her doing this yesterday. Since then, I have not been able to stop laughing at her. Even though she seriously sounds like she has dementia and hearing problems, I love how intensely this sweet ‘goyul’ wants to keep up and be part of her family!