fall-leaves-photo-shoot

I took Charlie to campus for a fall-leaves-photo-shoot on the only dry morning we've had in the last 10 days. So there we were, in the leaves, waving to the students walking by on the cement paths, while I snapped pictures on my knees and elbows in the muddy grass. I'm sure they thought I was insane, but I didn't care. Charlie only ate one leaf, there are many pictures I liked, and it didn't start raining again until after we left, so I feel we did pretty well. Success! Here are my favorites.

Reflecting....

Now that Charlie is sleeping I have started thinking. Dinanda means womanly. I chose this name for my blog because figured it would cover everything I'm interested in, and because I aspire to be womanly. By womanly I don't just mean female. It's not hard to be a female, my chromosomes took care of that. But to be womanly, to be soft yet strong, giving and beautiful, generous but rich-souled, yielding but tough, fierce yet gentle--these things are not easy.

There are so many aspects of what it means to be a woman. As I think back on the last nine months of my life, there has been a big change. I realize that "mother" is another aspect of womanly. Yet it is also a heavy word, full of an identity that I don't feel I own yet. Somehow bringing a baby home from the hospital has not convinced me that I am a mother. Though I'm past feeling shy at calling myself "Mama" when I'm talking to Charlie, I haven't found my nitch in this new role yet.

Some days I find myself frustrated and resentful. Being a mom is hard work. On those mornings I look my window at the solitary people down below who lug briefcases and scarves to work, and I wish, wish, wish I were as free. Other days I hug Charlie to my chest, breathe in his baby boy smell and can't imagine a place I'd rather be.

Now that Charlie is sleeping, I've started thinking. I've been asking. What does it mean to be mother? How can I give all that I must and yet take care of myself? Do other mothers feel this way? How can I be obedient to God in this new calling?

If you can, please comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

under the weather

Though you can't tell from these pictures, Charlie and I have both been fighting off colds this weekend. So we spent a lot of time playing in bed because it is is a close to lounging around as I could get.

He looks really funny with just three teeth.

That fourth one on the top is really milking the teething process for all it's worth!

This weekend is also fall break for seminary, so Jonathan has had some extra time to cheer us up.

We went for a quick walk around Creve Coeur Lake today, but Charlie was looking more and more miserable so we didn't stay out too long. Here's a shot of incredible snot.

He also somehow he managed to get matching fangs at dinner tonight....do you think he's trying to tell us he wants to be Dracula for Halloween?

...almost....

This is what Charlie does now when something gets too far away to reach...

...one of these days he's going to take the plunge and just crawl already!

Indian Summer

Up until yesterday its been cold and dreary in St Louis. We got a break of sunshine and the temperature was back into the 50's and 60's. So Charlie and I took our palm leaf mat outside to sit in the sun. We watched the cars drive past,

played in the grass barefoot for what may be the the last time this season

and discovered leaves.


Charlie was very sad when it was time leave the leaves. He's been getting fixated on things and starts crying now when you take something away that he is really enjoying.

But mean Mama just didn't feel that fall leaves should become part of his diet!

Q-tip love

Anyone who has been married for a while knows that love can grow into quirky habits and strange divisions of labor that become normal and routine. I have a friend who has never once carried her garbage out...not because she meant to avoid it, but because she never had occasion to since her husband always beats her to it.

I never take Q-tips out of the canister. That's because Jonathan always leaves two sitting on top of it for me. I told him the other day that every time I use my Q-tips I feel loved. This morning Jonathan was studying feverishly for a Hebrew exam, took his shower and rushed off to class. But he wasn't in such a hurry that he couldn't leave these for me!

Anyone else have interesting divisions of labor to share?

he sleeps!

I didn't want to post about this at first in case I jinxed it, but here goes.....

Charlie is now sleeping through the night! AND taking two 1-2 hour naps during the day!

I have been reborn as a new woman who has energy and verve and even, on good days, zip!

I can imagine I might, some day, look forward to waking up the next morning...That's not to say this has happened yet, but I know there is hope for my future!

Food, Glorious Food!

I've been having fun making Charlie baby food. Fresh fruits and veggies are so colorful.


I puree everything with my immersion blender and it makes the cleanup super easy!

Then I freeze it into ice cubes..

And store those in little tupperware in my freezer. When it's time to eat I just defrost 2-3 ice cubes of food!

I've also been cutting up things to freeze individually as finger food:

I feel like I am making and presenting him art with each meal. I'm also spurred on by how much he LOVES eating the bright colored vitamin-packed food everyday for his meals.

And while we are on the subject of food, here's the low down on what Charlie eats these days:
he says YES to:
pureed - squash, peas , zucchini, pears, prunes, plums, and sweet potato
finger food - bread, grapes, green beans, tuna fish casserole, chicken, edamame, pears, chicken adobo, rice, black beans, noodles, peaches
he says OK to:
pureed - spinach, collard greens, green beans, split pea soup
he says NO to:
pureed - kale, jarred green beans
finger food - potatoes

His favorite, by far (read 20 uninterrupted minutes of gumming and chewing) is being given pieces of frozen plums in his mesh teething ring.

rainyday

Today was 40 degrees and raining, so Charlie and I stayed inside for most of the day. We had a lot of fun being amused by exploring different parts of the house.

Charlie's favorite thing these days is to pull up to standing on your fingers and then "walk" around the house. On the way, things catch his attention, and if you're patient, he will explore them thoroughly before wanting to move on. It is really fun to watch his attention span increase while his awareness of the world around him grows.

Today we explored his highchair, standing up in the crib, daddy's beard,

the drawer of juggling balls in the bookcase,

what it feels like to almost be able to crawl and get a juggling ball that rolled away

(doesn't he look pleased with himself?)

the inside of my mouth, repeatedly...especially the teeth,

the toy basket,



and the puzzle stool he got from his Great Aunt Alice and Great Uncle Todd.



After the rain let up, we explored what it feels like to go for a stroller ride in 40 degree weather. Charlie's eyes were very big, and he was silent the whole trip. Even his body was still as he absorbed the new sensation.

Making Grandpa David Proud....

Fee Fie Foe Fum...

It turns out Charlie, Jonathan and Grandpa David not only share identical ears but also the same penchant for gnawing bones until they are beyond clean.

I gave Charlie my chicken bone the other night, just to see what he would do with it. (Cartilage was removed, of course) And boy oh boy did he ever go to town on it! Thirty minutes later and I still had to pry it out of his sticky fingers because it was time for bath and bed!

For the girl next door...

Charlie and I threw a baby shower for my very pregnant friend Cassie, who lives next door.

It would be better to say, perhaps, that I threw it and Charlie cooperated by not being too fussy while I cooked for it.

But together we did make a flour-less chocolate cake, hummus, and no bake peanut butter chocolate bars that taste better than Reece's Pieces.

Over all I just felt so happy to be doing something that I would have done pre-Charlie, post Charlie. I just love loving on people in this way, and for a while there I thought I'd never be able to again. It felt good to get back a little piece of pre-mommy me, and even better to do it for Cassie!

I also asked each guest to bring a piece of used clothing to cut quilt squares out of so that I could make Cassie a memory quilt of the shower.

I was surprised at how coordinated pajamas, old pillowcases and baby blankets all turned out to be. And again at Charlie's willingness to sit and play on the floor while I quilted the last two days.


Are you done yet?

I did the hand sewing while he slept.






The finished project.